Christmas!

So today, was my little angel's first Christmas. He did so well. As I figured, he ripped the wrapping paper and ate it, lol. But he did really good with his presents. I discovered that over at my grandmom's house, there were just way too many people there and he was too distracted to open his presents.

So, I am thinking for his birthday party on Friday, he should do really well. He will be distracted, but I think it will be pretty cool. And there will be kids there his age, so that'll be fun as well!

It was a great first Christmas, I wish I knew that no one was gonna buy Riley a first Christmas ornament, because I would have gotten him one. Guess I will just be a little different and get it for him later, lol. Weird weather this year too. I'm used to brown Christmas's but not sun shinning, and nice weather, it didn't feel like Christmas at all. It felt different for me this year, but now it's not all about me, it is about Riley.

I've also decided to make a new years resolution and lose 10 lbs my March. May not be a big goal, but I NEED to lose my baby weight. 10 lbs is quite a bit, and I'm giving myself 2 months to do it. If I reach my goal before March, I'm gonna keep going. I owe it to myself and to Riley to be healthy!! Merry Christmas!

Sleepy

I've always loved sleeping, now I look forward to it so much, it's insane. I guess that's the life of any mother, I'm just not used to it yet. Not used to not weighing what I want and getting tired faster and doing so many things and trying not to get stressed out. And, I have help from my family. I don't know how other single moms out there do it. Kudos to you ladies!

I have been working a lot, for me, this week. I don't have terribly long shifts, but I am working multiple days in a row, and I miss my baby. I cannot believe he will be 1 is 13 days! This year has gone by so fast, no wonder I am so tired, lol!!!

I'm too tired to remember what else I wanted to talk about, so look at my beautiful son :) Riley 1 year

Smile!!

Today, my best friend, Amber, came over to take Riley's 1 year pictures. I cannot believe he is already a year old. When people tell you time goes by fast, they ain't kidding. I see people all the time at work with their newborns, and I try to think back to when Riley was a newborn and I honestly cannot picture it, I remember him sleeping in my bed with me, with a blanket wrapped around him and his little sleeper/dress thing babies wear. Man, time flies. But I only have little memories here and there because time does go by so fast.

I do miss him being that little, but there are so many amazing things that happen now and are going to happen. This year has honestly been the best year of my life. No matter what happens anymore, it will not change how happy I am with my life right now. Not everything is perfect, but I have Riley and he is what I have wished for for so long! :)

He is so protective of me, its awesome. The other day, my mom was trying to throw one of his play spray bottles into the living room, and  it accidentally hit me in the head, I screamed Ow! and he freaked out. He started screaming and crying. He did not like seeing me get hurt, it's a very awesome feeling for someone to be so protective of you.

I love my little Riley :)

Strange Behaviors

Lately, I have been noticing strange behaviors in different people that I know. I wonder if it is strange behaviors or if it is just me finally seeing them for who they really are. Either way, it sucks but it is also a good thing. Seeing people for who they really are is eye opening, but its also sad that if what they are is bad, that I have been so blind to it for so long.

People try not to regret things they have done in their live, I am one of them. And for those who know me, there are a lot of mistakes that I have made in my life, but the thing is, each one has taught me a life lesson, but sadly there are a couple regrets that I do have. I do regret letting certain people blind me for so long. I know who I am, I know my flaws, and I am aware of my actions. I know how I get when I am mad/upset/hurt. I'm irrational, I know this, and people who know me know that I am too, but its so easily forgotten when people who want to control you and mold you into what they want see this side of me. They use it against me. Try to make me feel bad about being the way that I am. I regret that I ever let you get to me, that I ever let you make me cry. I've done so much for you, your family, but that means nothing to you. Just make a decision and I'm gone. If people can just cut you out like that, how important to them were you in the first place. I get cut out because I don't conform to how they want me to be. Well, I regret ever letting you affect me. I'm moving on, and I know how these people are, so I know what to look out for now.

People may ask, do I regret RJ? Heavens no, because from that whole mess, I got Riley, and nothing in the world is better then him :)