I get what your saying, but you don't understand me.

Okay, so when it comes to relationships everyone seems to have the best advice. If it worked for them, then it obviously should work for you right? Wrong!! I have heard everything under the moon when it comes to finding a nice guy. Don't look for him, he'll come to you, try looking at guys you don't normally look for, no one can love you until you love yourself, and I don't love God enough to have a good man in my life. Really?! It is so very frustrating.

I know I am a good person, do I get overly excited when I first meet someone I like? Yes, is that bad? Well with the wrong guys yes, but in a way its not because it helps weed out the bad ones. However, so I ever see those signs, or listen to my gut? Nope. This last guy I met, I totally missed all the sign right in front of me. I did pray that things would go well (Yes, I do believe in and love God, so that theory blows) and I asked for a sign. The next day, I barely heard from this guy. HELLO SIGN right in front of me, and I completely ignored it. Apparently when I ask for things, I need to pay more attention.

It's not that I need a guy to make me happy. I have Riley, he will always make me happy. We all get lonely, and again, yes I have Riley, and he will always fill my heart with love, but there is just certain attention a boyfriend/relationship can bring. I do believe it'll happen when it is meant to, it is just very hard to be patient. I don't believe I am doing anything wrong, for I also believe everyone that enters your life has a purpose, but it is just becoming very tiring and just makes me want to give up. People always say, oh Ashley you are so young, don't worry about it. Well, I am 29, and I guess that is young to some people, but I never wanted to be single for majority of my life, so excuse me if I take offense to that statement.

I am not bashing the person who said that I don't love God enough, or he wasn't in my life enough at all. But in a way it kind of offends me. Who is anyone to say that my relationship with God effects who comes into my life? There are a lot of people who don't even believe in God, so what would this person say to them?

There are many factors that make dating hard for me. None that need to be displayed all over the internet, lol, but I am just like everyone else who wants to be loved, and not judged for it.

Life just sucks sometimes.

Finally, FINALLY I actually met someone who I do not pick apart at all, and who I actually like, and what what do I do?! Freak out of course. I cannot stop texting him. He's going to think I am nuts and say goodbye to me very soon. Okay, so granted we've met and hung out once, but sometimes isn't that all a persons needs to know whether or not they like a person? There is an obvious physical connection, which lets be honest, a lot of people need to even consider dating someone. So plus 1 for that, but we haven't had the chance to really get to know each other, and I'm freaking out because I want to get to know him and he is just being a typical guy and not too concerned about making plans or what not.

We agreed to hang out this weekend. Just said, yeah we should hang out again, we talked about going to a movie. We didn't make specific plans, just figured we would work around my work schedule and his plans. Well, that's not happening. He decided to go up north today and I'm not sure if he will be back tomorrow, and he will be busy this next week, he has his week with his son. I am not going to bug him to hang out when he has his son, I'm not that pathetic. However, I'd like to not wait a week to be able to hang out again. That isn't clingy is it? If it is, I am not seeing it. I just wanna get to know him more, but I have a feeling I'm coming off clingy and attached. Ugh, I cannot win. Either I like them, then do my normal pick them apart thing, or I like them and I cannot back off. I'm so ready for the one, and the fact that I didn't pick him apart, makes me very excited, but I cannot seem to calm down and let things flow, UGH! I need help!! HELP ME ANYONE!